I looked in the mirror and what did I see? I saw a fat person looking back at me. Now I know I am not fat by any means (on a good day I weigh 104 lbs) and I will be one of the first people to tell you that. But even I have what I call "FAT DAYS". Days where I look at myself and all I can see is a fat ugly person staring back at me. Why, maybe because whatever I am wearing doesn't fit just right or maybe because I am having a bad hair day and that throws everything off. Or maybe it's because I used to be overweight and I still see that fat girl in the mirror sometimes. It seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try, I don't like how I look. I am probably the only one who sees what I think I see but to me it is real.
For instance, this morning when I got dressed I thought I could see pantie lines in my slacks so off went the regular panties and on went the kind that aren't supposed to leave lines - yeah what genius invented these? I could still see lines because I was so "fat" it wasn't the panties fault it was the butts fault. So it's either find a different pair of slacks or don't wear any panties- I changed slacks. Then once I'm dressed it's look in the mirror from all angles to make sure nothing is showing.
I have not gained one ounce since yesterday and don't look any different than I did last week but to me I feel fat and that is what makes all the difference in the world. I don't like myself and I don't like the way I look. There is no rhyme or reason to this and why it happened today. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow society to do this to us? Women allow society and peer pressure to tell them how they should look and dress. That they should be a size 0 in order to be beautiful and if they aren't no man will look at them. What crap! A woman is beautiful from the inside out and not form the outside in and should not be judged on looks alone.
Maybe I should just get rid of all the mirrors in my house and then I wouldn't have to worry about ANY lines in the future. You know I'm not getting any younger.