So my daughter is getting Married in 14 months and she is worried cause she hasn't done anything but plunk some money down to reserve the venue for her wedding/reception. She wonders if she has done enough or should she be doing more at this point in time.
I decided that as Mother of the Bride I should look to see what my duties (other than crying on the day she gets married) were. It seems my daughter has nothing to be concerned about because according to everything I read, I am responsible for most of the shit that needs to be done for this wedding. What the Hell??? I'm not the one getting married, she is. Why should I be doing all the work?
Here is what they say I as Mother of the bride should be doing.
Confer with the mother of the groom on all mother of the bride dress or gown choices. I figured I would save time and just pick out dresses for both of us.
So this is Todd's moms dress. I like the fringes on the bottom and the hat's anice touch,
And this is my dress. See it too has a little fringe at the bottom so they coordinate. And it also has a hat.
The mother of the bride will assist the bride with the selection of her wedding dress . OK here goes with my pick for what I think Carrin should wear. Second wedding, middle of June, hot as hell. I think it's a good choice. Just be sure to tan Carrin cause there's a lot of skin showing!
The mother of the bride helps the bride and the groom in gathering the names of wedding guests and narrowing down the guest list. From now until the invitations go out you all better be real nice to me cause I control the guest list. Piss me off an your name gets scratched off the list!
The mother of the bride aids in selecting the wedding invitations and the writing out the invitation copy. As long as I don't have to address them and lick all the damn envelopes I can pick them out
The mother of the bride is the assistant or is solely responsible for the other wedding details like photography/videography, wedding cake, bridal accessories, bridal shower arrangements, wedding bouquet and flowers, food catering, wedding favors, pastor/minister/church, banquet room, reception, lodging for out-of-town guests, etc. Damn, what does the bride do? Write out the checks after I plan everything I guess. Guess it's a good thing I;m getting all those vendor ads in the mail huh Carrin? They'll come in handy when I have to start planning the wedding.
The mother of the bride leaves the wedding ceremony area after the bride and groom and before the guests. What the hell? I don't get to go to the party? I have to leave after all the planning I put into this thing! That doesn't sound fair to me.
The mother of the bride dances with the father of the bride during the first formal dance. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. Not in this lifetime.
The mother of the bride ensures that all the guests are happy and having a great time and most importantly, that she, the bride, and groom, are having fun as well despite all the stress and the "hoopla". Thank God after all that planning I was worried I didn't get to have any fun. Just make sure there's a little alcohol involved to help me deal with that stress and we'll be just fine.
So Carrin, Guess for the next 14 months, you can sit back and relax cause it looks like most of the work and stress falls to me. The Frazzled Mother of the Bride.