Wednesday, March 11, 2009

All Things Barbie

We all heard it on the news this week. Everywhere you turned, there it was plastered all over television.

Barbie turned 50! BITCH!

Did you see her? She doesn't look a day older than she did back in 1959.

There isn't a wrinkle on her face anywhere, those eyes were just as slanty as they always were. And I couldn't find an age spot even with a magnifying glass!

There were no varicose veins in her legs and every woman knows if you wear heels every day for that many years you're bound to have them. Did she have them stripped? And if so where are the scars?

Where is the pouch belly we all get at that certain age? Even without having children you get it just from over eating and we all know if you run a round dating as much as Barbie does you eat a lot. She should have some fat and cellulite somewhere on that body!

And what about those perky little boobies??? Shouldn't they be sagging by this time? Ladies, those of us over 50 are our boobies that perky yet? NO of course not, so why are Barbies? She should be having to pick those babies up every morning and stuff them into her bra and when she takes that same bra off every night, those babies should drop to the floor! Instead they are standing at attention yet at age 50! Something isn't right here.

How many of us have an ass that good at 50? Even if you do squats every day it isn't gonna look like that, I guaran damn tee it!

I love Barbie and had many as a young girl. I spent hours playing with her and dreamed of becoming her when I grew up. I bought Barbie for both my daughters when they were old enough to play with her. She is a legend among girls. But lets get real here. What kind of a role model is she?

I have to be brutally honest and say I think Barbie has had some Plastic work done over the years. You can't get to 50 and still look like that with out some help. Sorry Barbie that's just my opinion.


Christina said...

I'll hold her down... you beat her up. Ok?

Seriously, I never had the boobs or a barbie ass... even in my twenties. But I bet I would still be able to steal Ken from her... take that bitch!

Debbie said...

I gotta say that I feel sorry for her. Her boyfriend all these years? Not exactly all there, if you know what I mean:)

April said...

Yesterday Toot was playing with 2 barbies. One was from some fairy movie and the other was just a regular beach barbie. She tried to put the dress from fairy barbie on to beach barbie and it didn't fit. Toot said, "Barbie is too fat for the dress!" HA! I wish I looked like that when I was too fat. Hell, I wish I looked like that NOW!

Carrin said...

Barbie has definately had some work done! She walks around like we don't know. Guess what? You're not fooling anyone!

binks said...

Barbie does look good for 50, but she really does need to update the hairdo.

I so wanted that Barbie, but had the curly haired Midge. I'm sure now, Midge is fat & grey with flat feet and saggy boobs. Poor Midge.