Today is my first born's birthday. 36 years ago today- I gave birth to one of the most beautiful baby girls I had ever seen. It was love at first sight- On my part any way- I have no idea what she thought of me.
In a way it's a little bittersweet because as she gets older, so do I.
I love all my children equally and in their own way. They are all individuals and as different as can be. It sometimes amazes me that I could have carried, born and raised 3 children in the same house, that turned out so different. Then I realize that is what makes them who they are.
Your first born is always the experiment. They don't come with directions and you really aren't prepared for them. Considering I was an 18 year old, single mother trying to raise Carrin on my own I really wasn't prepared for her. We sort of grew up together. I remember one time I took a nap when Carrin did but she woke up first. When I finally woke up she was decorated from one end of her body to the other with my make up! Good thing it was only my make up! Sometimes I am amazed that she made it at all but then again I realize that she took care of me those first two and a half years as much as I took care of her.
After I married the man who became her father, we really became over protective of her. She wasn't allowed to walk across the street without me standing at the corner watching her til I couldn't see her anymore, she could only ride her bike on the sidewalk in front of our house because we were afraid she would hurt herself (so of course when she had a bike accident and had to have stitches, she lied) and when she went to school which was only a block away, I had her so scared of strangers, she wouldn't accept a ride from a classmates mother in a snow storm because she didn't know who they were! Naturally, she wasn't allowed to shave her legs, pluck her eyebrows or date until she was 16! This lead to sneaking around and lying and a couple of car accidents cuz she was in the wrong place at the wrong time! Of course she thought her father and I were too dumb to know what was really going on!!!!
Eventually, she grew up, had some kids of her own and once in a while I even hear some of me coming out of her mouth when she talks to her kids. So I know she listened to me and retained some things I said when she was younger. I am proud of her and what she has accomplished with her life. She has 3 wonderful children and is helping to raise her fiance's son. They all know they are loved fiercely and are strong independent individuals because that is how she was raised. She is a daughter any mother would be proud to call their own but only I get that honor.
Carrin- Happy Birthday baby girl! May you have many more and may they all be wonderful!