I'm Not God and I Can't Control Everything

I bet you already knew this bit of information didn't you?


I just found out Yesterday!!!


Did you think you were being kind in keeping this from me?

To let me go on thinking I could handle everything life threw at me?

In reality you were being cruel to let me go on living a fantasy where I move through each day totally unaware of how little control I really have on reality.

It all came to head yesterday when I realized that it was the first of the month and I only had 13 more days til my vacation. There was still so much I had to do and so little time to do it that I had to start that day.

I had stayed up way too late the night before and was a tad bit sleep deprived already. So I began the day with a strike against me in the smarts department. Don't start! I already know what comments you want to make and they aren't allowed.

So I have 3 weeks left in my college class, which means I will miss the entire last week, right? So I have to work ahead. I have been working like crazy yo get my report done on time so I can hand it in and get a great grade. I am a little controlling in that way and have reworked this paper a couple times already. Also, I have to take 2 (that's right 2 )tests in the last week so have to do some extra study time for that. All this on top of the regular weekly class work I have to do. And I don't like to settle for anything less than an A GPA.

I needed to do laundry too since I haven't done any for a few months, weeks, days and it was beginning to pile up. So I threw some clothes in the washer between paragraphs of my report and switched them to the dryer during rewrites. I enlisted the help of Hubbs in folding as I hate this part of the laundry.

My grandson,Tegan spent the night with us on Saturday and he wanted to play Webkinz Sunday morning. Of course this meant I had to give up control of my report and my computer. Could I do this? For my grandson of course I could. Besides, I knew it wouldn't take him too long and he would get bored and move on to something else, freeing up my computer. So I helped him adopt his newest Webkinz, a cow he named Chocolate.

OMG!
Next I realized I had not even started to think about packing my suitcase for the trip yet!!!! Tell me this isn't so? I haven't started my lists yet of the things I need to take and the things I need to do to get ready. No wonder I'm not prepared!!!
I need to get on this right away! I normally have this done and the suitcases by the door 2 weeks before the trip. I haven't even gone through my clothes yet and decided what I'm taking. I still have to hem a sundress and iron clothes that I washed from last summer and just tossed in the iron pile never to be looked at again until needed. Well they're needed now Honey! So I ran downstairs and pulled out the suitcases, blew off the dust and hauled them back upstairs. Then I ransacked my drawers and closets for the next 2 hours ( homework be damned- this was much more important) and packed my suitcase. Hubbs is on his own, but then it only takes him 15 minutes to pack so I'm not too worried about him.

By this time I realize I didn't tan yesterday so I call and see if I can get in today. I can so I run right over (people our tanning beds are in the back of our local restaurant) and for the next 20 minutes I lay in a warm tanning bed and relax while smelling french fries and cheeseburgers. Yum Yum!

Back home, it's time to fix supper and I realize I didn't take anything out of the freeze. Thank Goodness for microwaves. I grab some pork chops and zap those puppies long enough to thaw them out. Then into the oven they go while I throw together a salad and do up some french fries (got a hankering while tanning). Opened a bottle of wine and there's supper.

Cleaned up afterward and that's when I finally got a few minutes to sit. That's when it hit me! What you all knew all along............

I have no control over anything. My life controls me, I don't control it. When did that happen?